13 Ways to Beat the Madness.
Purloined from an anonymous cubicle of corporate America:
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with your sunglasses on, and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Put a garbage can on the corner of your desktop and label it, "IN".
3. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
4. In the memo section of all your checks, write "For Sexual Favors".
5. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
6. Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy and revealed word of knowledge."
7. Adjust your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
8. Don't use any punctuation. Claim the keys are broken.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk, but only when you're returning from the bathroom.
10. Whenever someone mentions the name of a friend or family member, ask, "What sex are they?" Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. When taking a quick lunch with colleagues, specify emphatically that your drive-through order is "to go."
12. Go to a poetry recital and shout out, "Why don't those poems rhyme?"
13. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"