10 Puns, a Vulture, and 2 Eskimos.

10 PUNS:
A bright man with hope galore enters a local newspaper's pun contest. He sends in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of his gems of wit will win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

A VULTURE:
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at the vulture and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2 ESKIMOS:
Two Eskimos were sitting in a kayak. When it became too chilly, they lit a fire on the stern. The kayak burned through the stern and sank, proving, once and for all, that one can't have his kayak and heat it, too.

TRANSLATIONS for the feeble-minded: No pun intended, only one carry-on per passenger, you can't have your cake and eat it, too.