Redneck Haiku

BEAUTY

Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps

REMORSE

A painful sadness
Can't fit big screen TV through
Double-wide's front door

OPTIONS

Unemployment's out.
Hey, maybe I can git on
Disability

BLAZE

Distant siren screams
Dumb-ass Verne's been mowing with
Gasoline again

A NEW MOON

Flashlights pierce darkness
No nightcrawlers to be found
Guess we'll git some frogs

EXUBERANCE

Joyous, playful, bright
Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
Of old motor oil

ALONE

Seeking solitude
Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for
Restraining order

DESIRE

Damn, in that tube-top
You make me almost forget
That you're my cousin

HATRED

I curse the rainbow
Emblazoned upon his hood
damn Jeff Gordon

OFFERINGS

Tonight we hunger
Grandma sent grocery money
To Jerry Falwell

DRAMA

Set the VCR
Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
Starts at 9 O'Clock

DEPRIVED

In WalMart toy aisle
Wailing boy wants rasslin' doll
Mama whups his ass

NO SIGNAL

White noise, buzzing static
Call Earl; the satellite dish
needs new descrambler

IMPOUNDED

Sixty-five dollars
And cyclone fence keeps me from
My El Camino

GATHERING

In early morning mist
Mama searches Circle K for
Moon Pies and Red Man

PRIDE

Grinning, he displays
The nine hundred beer cans that
Fill his pickup bed

E-mail message sent to CornDancer on July 7, 2001, from IowaHawk [iowahawk_98@yahoo.com]

Hi, I'm Dave Burge, humor columnist for CNSNews.com. I am the author of the "Redneck Haiku" you have posted on your web site. The original (copyrighted) posting is at http://www.spintechmag.com/literary/Oct99/db-oct99.htm

I don't want to make a big fuss, but I'm working on a book of Redneck Haiku and I want to protect my IP rights. I don't mind you posting my work, but _please_ do so with the proper attribution and copyright notice.

Thanks in advance,

Dave Burge in Chicago
CNSNews.com humor columnist