A pair of sphinx flank Cleopatra's Needle in London.
One posed with our author on October 6, 2010.

Wandering through London in October:

A Tale of Two Jeremys
(and one stolen head)

“Soveraigne of cities, seemliest in sight.”
— William Dunbar on London (1501)
 
“Was für Plunder! [What a Place to Plunder]”
— Field Marshal Gebhard von Blücher on London (1814)
 

By Ron Fritze from Athens, Alabama
Posted on November 16, 2010

Twylia and I recently got to visit London again. Our friend Jeremy Black invited us to a party to celebrate the publication of his 100th single authored book. Yes, that is right — one hundred books!

When we got the invitation, we really wanted to go but weren’t sure about the money. That is where Twylia having to miss the cruise out of Venice last May came into play. We had cancelled her ticket with Delta, but the airline doesn’t issue refunds. Our one option was to change her itinerary for a fee, but we only had until the end of November 2010 to use the ticket. Flying Twylia to London on that ticket was the one good option.

No Hell for the Lemonade

Pleased that May’s lemon had been turned into October’s lemonade, we turned next to my fare. Fortunately, my frequent flyer miles with American were sufficient to earn a deep discount, especially with the cheaper fares available for October travel. I discovered that I could actually get a decent frequent flyer ticket, one that is affordable and doesn’t involve three changes of plane and a seven-hour layover in hell or some worse location.

Our only big expense would be for lodging. I chose the trusty President Hotel off Russell Square. While the President is a bit threadbare and the rooms are somewhat small, each room has a shower and toilet, and you can count on them being clean. You get a full English breakfast and, most important, the location is outstanding. Much of central London is walkable from the President, so you don’t need to use the Tube, buses, or a taxi. Also, since we stayed at least three nights, we got a free dinner for two at the hotel restaurant. It was good, too.

We departed on 5 October and returned on 10 October. In anticipation, I kept a close eye on the London weather. After a hot summer, September had been a pleasant, but the initial weather reports for our early October visit were not promising. As our day to fly approached, conditions were getting worse, with predictions for rain on all five days.

But the day before we left, the forecast improved and indicated partly cloudy days with sun and no rain for our entire stay. In fact, it rained while we were at Jeremy’s party on Thursday, but the drizzle had stopped by the time we left that evening. Saturday, 9 October, was to have gone from overcast to sunny but actually remained pretty much overcast with a very few breaks in the clouds. So that was a minor disappointment. But overall we experienced great weather, particularly for walking.

Don’t get me wrong. There is a lot to do indoors in London. You can spend days at the British Museum, but Twylia and I like to walk, and we especially love the parks of the great city.

This Beast of Burden
Thinks Like an American.

We were a little worried about traveling separately. I had planned my flight to get me to London about 45 minutes before Twylia. I arrived a little ahead of schedule. Leaving the plane, I got through passport control and picked up our luggage, which had come on an earlier flight from Chicago. Twylia hurt her back a while ago, so I carry all the luggage now. The experience has taught me the meaning of that Rolling Stones song,

Luggage in hand, I breezed through customs and waited in the reception area for Twylia. At this point, I was thinking like an American — and that got me in trouble.

We both assumed that every international flight arrived at the same terminal, which would be true at most American airports because there is generally only one international area. But as one of the world’s biggest airports, Heathrow is different. Keep in mind that the great majority of flights to Heathrow are international, and that there are five terminals.

I was in Terminal 3 when Twylia’s flight arrived. She called me on her cellphone. “Come on out,” I said. “You can’t miss me.” She called back, thinking I would be at her luggage pick up. ”No, I am in the reception area.” She called back and said she was standing by W. H. Smith Books and could not see me. I looked around. No W. H. Smith in sight. “I will call you back.”

“Which terminal does Delta fly into?” I asked a Heathrow employee. “Terminal 4.” Oh, oh! But he gave me very good instructions on how to get there on the Heathrow Express. So I called Twylia back and told her that I would be along in ten minutes.

No Rest for the Jetlagged

United once more, we climbed on the Piccadilly Line for our trip to Russell Square. The train was quite crowded and the crowds never let up. It was slow going, taking well over an hour and a half. When we finally reached the President it was almost 3 o’clock of a brisk Wednesday afternoon. At this point we were pretty jetlagged, but I had made an appointment with Michael Leaman to drop off the signed contract for my next book project. No rest for the weary.

Michael’s office was a 15-minute walk from the hotel. We enjoyed a nice chat, and then I got to meet Robert, who had directed the editorial work on Invented Knowledge. Pleasant and knowledgeable, Robert showed me the cover for the paperback edition of Invented Knowledge that is coming out in February. It was good to get to meet him as he will be working on editing the next book as well.

Returning to the hotel, Twylia and I went to a nearby pub, The Friend at Hand, for a drink. Then we had dinner at the President. It was a nice meal. I had roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. Twylia had some sort of chicken. Back at the room, I was in bed by 8:30 and slept until 8 the next morning.

Our plan for Thursday was to go first to University College of the University of London, less than a ten-minute walk from the President. We wanted to visit the Flinders Petrie Museum of Egyptian Archaeology and to revisit Jeremy Bentham. Arriving at the Petrie in mid-morning, we discovered it would not open until 1 o’clock. So we went looking for Jeremy Bentham.

It Was After He Died
That Things Became Strange.

Jeremy Bentham (1748-1832) was one of the foremost English Utilitarians. He was a reformer of the law and an advocate of prison reform. He is credited with the foundation of London University in 1826 which later became University College of the University of London. In fact, he was not directly involved in the foundation, although University College did conform to Bentham’s utilitarian ideas. It was the first institution of higher education in England that was not connected to the Church, unless you count what passed for a seminary among the Druids. University College was also the first to admit students regardless of their religion. It also admitted women as students on an equal basis with men. Bentham did take an interest in University College after its foundation.

Twylia poses beside the auto-icon of Bentham

You'll Find Him Seated
Next to the Trustees.

When he died in 1832, he put another aspect of his utilitarianism into practice. Bentham had a somewhat bizarre belief that the dead could be used for decoration. He advocated preserving a person’s body by a sort of taxidermy so that it could remain as a comfort to the survivors while decorating their homes and public building. These mummified memorials were called auto-icons.

Bentham arranged for his body to be preserved, but the experiment was not a hundred per cent successful. His mummified head looked like something out of a particularly gruesome horror movie. So it was replaced by a wax likeness. The actual head was stored in a box at the feet of Bentham’s seated corpse.

His will stipulated that his body was to be displayed in a cabinet with a glass door and wheeled-in to meetings of the trustees of University College. Otherwise it is kept on display in the main building of University College on Gower Street. The real head, however, is no longer kept at his feet. Students from King’s College, London, kidnapped it as a prank. After University College officials got Bentham’s noggin back in their possession, they locked it in a vault to prevent any further headnappings.

Twylia and I had been to see Bentham before, but this time I had a good camera. As we stopped to look around, a couple of friendly UC students asked if we needed help. “Yes, we’re looking for Bentham,” I said. The two boys smiled and gave us some excellent directions. Keep in mind, Bentham is a campus celebrity. The UC store sells Bentham coffee cups. Within three minutes we had found Bentham again and took some pictures.

Change and Congestion
On the Most Crowded of Streets.

Our next stop was Selfridge’s department store on Oxford Street. Once we got to the intersection of Oxford Street and Tottenham Court Road, I noticed a tremendous amount of construction. There were other construction sites along Oxford Street as we walked to Selfridges. As always, London is changing. But what has not changed is the human congestion on Oxford Street. I have been told that its sidewalks are the most crowded in London and I believe it.

Twylia bought this furry purse that sort of looks like an attaché case in need of a shave. Meanwhile, I explored the food court and the book section. In the food court, I noticed that Selfridge’s was selling Krispee Kreme donuts. Yeow! Not my favorite donut. Twylia’s Mission accomplished, we headed back to University College and the Petrie Museum of Egyptian Archaeology.

Right before we got to University College, we stopped at the Waterstone’s bookstore that used to be Dillon’s University Bookstore for many years. Twylia got a diet Coke. I looked at books. There I found C. J. Sansom’s new mystery, Heartstone. I was hoping that Waterstone’s had a discount, which they did, but I should have bought the book at Selfridge’s because their discount was £1 cheaper. I had assumed Waterstone’s would have the better discount. No big deal. For those interested in Sansom’s mysteries, I finished Heartstone today and it is excellent. My mission accomplished, we headed to the Petrie.

Uncrowded, Unpretentious
And Filled with Delights

Sir William Matthew Flinders Petrie (1853-1942) is one of the foremost British Egyptologists and a pioneer of systematic and empirical methodology in archaeology. His patron was the wealthy novelist Amelia Edwards, who helped finance his expeditions. In 1892, Petrie became the first Edwards Professor of Egyptology at University College.

The Flinders Petrie Museum is a teaching museum which makes available thousands of Egyptian artifacts to students and scholars. Much of the collection is based on materials recovered by Petrie, who was a prodigious excavator. There are about three thousand items on public display, which represent about ten per cent of the actual collection.

Small and a bit cramped, The Petrie is not a fancy museum, but to its advantage, it is not crowded, so we pretty much had the place to ourselves. The students manning the museum are friendly and helpful. It is fascinating to look into the cases and imagine the massive amount of work that Petrie put into his archaeological discoveries. His contemporaries reported that Petrie was impervious to heat, cold, dry, wet, dirt — and that he could subsist on the most miserable food imaginable. He expected his students to do the same. Anyway, if you are interested in ancient Egypt and want to escape the crowds at the British Museum, check out the Petrie.

Back at the hotel, we paused to get ready for Jeremy’s party. He was going to be at the café of the National Gallery at 4 o’clock. On our walk from Russell Square to the National Gallery, Twylia discovered that her formal shoes were not staying on too well. We were a little worried about the walk back, but there is a happy ending to that story.

Meanwhile, we arrived at the National Gallery just a little early. After browsing the gift shop, we discovered that Jeremy had arrived. We all got coffee and tea and the conversation began. Then slowly but surely more party guests arrived. By the time we left for the party there were almost twenty people in the café, including Jeremy’s wife Sarah, his daughter Pippa, and his mom Doreen.

Jeremy Black and Twylia

At the Athenaeum Club

As 6 o’clock approached we got up and walked to the site of the party, the Athenaeum Club on Pall Mall. More commonly known as the Athenaeum, this London club was founded in 1824 for individuals with notable accomplishments in the arts, literature, and sciences (along with their well-heeled patrons). Besides Jeremy Black, its notable members have included Winston Churchill, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Charles Darwin, Charles Dickens, Herbert Spencer, William Thackeray, and Arthur Wellesley, the Duke of Wellington. I could list more but clearly a lot of very famous people were members of the Athenaeum. This visit was my first time in a London club. The building retains most of its original style and furnishings, despite necessary renovations like the addition of electricity and modern plumbing.

The party went from 6 to 8:30 with about one hundred in attendance. We got to meet a lot of interesting and pleasant people. Jeremy’s brother, an accountant, shared his passionate interest in American football, particularly college ball. He travels to the U.S. pretty regularly to attend games. To his misfortune, he has yet to attend an Alabama game. Most significantly, he has never experienced the nocturnal wonders of a game at Death Valley on the campus of Louisiana State University in Baton Rouge. We’ll have to try and help him remedy that situation.

Jeremy gave a fine speech about the study of history. Wine flowed freely and a good time was had by all. A little after 8, Twylia and I decided to leave and look for a bite to eat.

We Find Sherlock Holmes.

The Athenaeum is just to the west of Trafalgar Square. Our next destination was the Sherlock Holmes pub, a five-minute walk away. We strolled down The Mall through Admiralty Arch and then nipped down Northumberland Avenue. There was the Sherlock Holmes.

I had not imbibed there since the late 1970s. I remembered it as a quiet pub with an undistinguished selection of beer, but with memorabilia related to Sherlock Holmes all over the place. However, in 2010 on a Thursday night the Sherlock Holmes was jumping. And the Holmes’ memorabilia was still prominently displayed.

We got some drinks and ordered fish and chips. Fortunately we got a table right away. Even more fortunately, I discovered that the Sherlock Holmes was serving Abbot Ale, the first English beer that I ever tried. It has been my favorite ever since. The fish and chips were first class and we ended up sharing our table with two Canadian women. The older one was a real character and lots of fun.

A bit more drinking later and both of us feeling no pain, Twylia and I decided to find our way back to the President. Out in the London night, buoyed by the fellowship and good spirits, we were alive with the moment — and I was pleased to hear Twylia announce that her loose shoes were no longer a problem. During my student days at Cambridge I had “learned” that part of London very well, so even if I were to get a little lost, I knew I wouldn’t stay lost all that long. We made it back safely and were very glad that we had made the effort to come to Jeremy’s party, a once-in-a-lifetime occasion.

The Joys of City Walking

After a good night’s sleep, we began our Friday with a visit to the British museum. After looking at the Egyptian hall, we went back and got my camera with its recharged battery and headed for St. James Park. We picked up some nice Wensleydale cheese, bread, and a spinach and Caerphilly quiche at Fortnum and Mason to eat at the park. We’ve done that before and it is a wonderful place to eat lunch.

St. James is a lovely park full of beautiful flowers with a lake that attracts many different species of aquatic birds. We planned to share the leftover bread with the birds. Twylia did the feeding and the geese loved it. Then we explored more of St. James and walked up to Buckingham Palace through Green Park to Piccadilly and back to Fortnum and Mason where we picked up some teas as gifts for friends.

We also stopped at the market in the churchyard of St. James, Piccadilly. It is a lovely Christopher Wren church. William Blake was baptized there. I found an Abbot Ale bar towel at one of the stalls. The merchant told me that things were playing out in the pub paraphernalia business and many others as well. The rising costs of London are starting to drive many of the smaller, quainter business out.

To my eye, there are fewer and fewer second-hand bookstores in central London. This time I noticed that a fine mystery bookstore was gone from Charing Cross Road. Gone, too, was the Borders store, which appears to have been replaced by a T. J. Maxx. O tempora, o mores!

One thing does remain a constant: the Hare Krishna’s are stilling hanging around Leicester Square.

Fish 'n Chips with the Swiss

Back near the British Museum we stopped at The Plough for a drink al fresco. We went back to the hotel with the intention of returning to try the fish and chips. When it came time to eat we ran into some Swiss boys seeking fish and chips as well so we lead them to The Plough. The boys were traveling in England to practice their conversational English. The fish and chips at the Plough are good but the Sherlock Holmes’ are better. But the Plough also serves Abbot, so that is a saving grace.

Saturday was devoted to more walking and sightseeing with another stop at the British Museum. Then it was back down Oxford Street as we made our way past Selfridges to Marble Arch and entered Hyde Park. That part of the park contains the famous Speakers Corner but that day there were no speakers.

Walking down to the Serpentine, we stopped at the café there and shared a scone. Our next destination was Harrods, that Mecca of materialism. I had forgotten that Harrods has an Egyptian Hall, which is an Egyptomaniac’s dream. I took some pictures and then we wandered into the food court. Like Selfridge’s, Harrods also sells Krispee Kreme. We opted for sharing a hot baguette filled with bacon and cheese. Carrying on down Brompton Road, we ate our baguette on a park bench outside of the Natural History Museum.

The interior of the Natural History Museum

The Natural History Museum is a great museum and a fine piece of high Victorian architecture. It opened in 1881 and is impressive both on the outside and the inside. There was a tremendous line to get in by the main entrance, but a guard helpfully told me there was no wait at the Exhibition Road entrance. He was absolutely right. We got in and made it over to the main hall where I managed to get some great pictures including the monkeys.

From there we headed back to Hyde Park and then through Green Park, past Buckingham Palace and into our favorite, St. James Park. After enjoying the usual flowers and birds again, we saw some pelicans. Leaving the park, we crossed the grounds of the Horse Guards to get to Whitehall. Heading up Whitehall, we stopped at the pub Lord of the Moon of the Mall, which is a beautiful old pub that has been taken over by the Wetherspoon’s chain. That means beer and food at reasonable prices. It was a nice stop.

A Gift from the Pasha

Our next stop was the Thames Embankment. I wanted to show Twylia Cleopatra’s Needle, an Egyptian obelisk that the Pasha of Egypt Mohammed Ali gave to England in the late nineteenth century. The obelisk actually dates back to 1500 B.C. and its only association with Cleopatra is that was the name of the ship that attempted to bring it to England. The ship went down in a storm in the Bay of Biscay but the obelisk was recovered.

It was a lovely time to see the obelisk. Twylia had never seen it and it had been almost thirty years for me.

Making our way through Covent Garden, another part of London that Twylia was unfamiliar with, we got back to the hotel. Then we went looking for supper. We decided to try the Friend at Hand. There we shared a table with two other Americans who worked for Boeing and were on a job up in Cambridge. It was a nice conversation. I ordered bangers and mash for a change. I also got to try a Belgium weiss beer on draft called Hoegaarten. It was quite good. I recommend it. Then it was back to pack.

Our trip to Heathrow on Sunday was uneventful and only took about fifty minutes, about half the time of our trip into central London at the beginning of the visit. I dropped Twylia at Terminal 4. Then I checked in with American at Terminal 3. A short while later she called with news that Delta had cancelled her flight, and that they would provide food and lodging at the Heathrow Hilton until the next available flight on Monday. My flight went smoothly although my plane was a crowded 767. But I got back without a hitch and Twylia came in the next day.

We had a wonderful time in London. Apart from Jeremy’s party and my meeting at Reaktion Books, we were on our own to leisurely wander the city and its beautiful parks, museums, and stores. It was a relaxing time and we both enjoyed it immensely, except for the jetlag. If you are able, I recommend visiting London in September or early October. Your chances of good weather are high and it is no longer high season, although you’d never know that from the breakfast room of the President. There were still plenty of people touring London, but it is not so congested and things are a bit cheaper.

“The greatest benefit of London seems today to be this,
that in such a vast number of persons and conditions,
one can believe there is room for such people
as we read of in novels to exist.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson (1859)

Click on the black panther to read about Ron Fritze's latest book, Invented Knowledge: False History, Fake Science, and Pseudo-religions.