T O P I C :

The Girl No One Likes.

Fellow interns, let me prepare you, this will seem harsh. How do you handle a student who is so obnoxious that she is not liked by her students, her parents, and quite frankly her teachers? This student told me the first day of class that she hates every student in her class. This was the first of many unpleasant interactions with her. She missed class when she had to go to court for a criminal incident and seems to be in trouble quite a bit. She also disrupts the class with what seems like an endless supply of negativity.

The most recent and troubling classroom incident occurred when I invited students to share their writing after a journal assignment. This student was the only volunteer, so I had no other option but to allow her to share. As she walked to the front of the classroom, it was clear that she had written something very divisive and shared it with other students, because the other students were laughing nervously. When she reached the front of the room and started to read, she stopped and said that she didn’t want to read. I asked her if she wanted me to read the journal for her and she agreed.

Before I began reading, I scanned the page and discovered that the journal was a detailed listing of one of her teacher’s faults. I did not read the journal and asked the student to see me after class. We discussed the journal and I consider the discipline portion of that particular issue resolved.

How do you deal with a student you just don’t like? Further, how do you effectively hide the fact that you don’t like the student? I have really made an effort to be fair and kind to this student, but she is so disruptive, that I am forced to reprimand her. Your advice would be so helpful.

Posted November 16, 2008

R E S P O N S E :

You Could Be the One to
Make a Difference in Her Life.

Mara Snedden writes: Although I understand your problem, I think that there are some underlying issues that should be addressed with this student. It seems like she may have been written off in the school as the student who is unmanageable. I think that every teacher at some point will encounter a student with whom they have a personality conflict; however, if a student is so disagreeable that “every” teacher is having a problem with him or her, there is something wrong.

Here are some suggestions. I would try to not get discouraged and maybe avoid words such as like and dislike. I bet if you could find some way to break through with the student, then you would find she has qualities that are really great.

Have you tried asking around to find a teacher who has had success with the student? If you could find even just one teacher who has gotten through the barrier and front the student is putting on, then perhaps they can give you some ideas about what she is interested in doing.

Another thing to try to do would be to get to know the student on a level other than school and school work. Try to find something out about her that you could talk to her about or something that will get her interest peaked.

Have you talked with the counselors? Maybe if you had some understanding of what was going on in her life and the troubles she might have at home, it would help you to build a relationship with her.

The last thing I would say would be in response to the journal about the teacher’s faults. I would discuss with her why she dislikes that teacher so much. It could be as simple as the subject matter in the class is too difficult, and she is discouraged. You could try to find out what is bothering her about the class in a productive and professional manner. It seems like she is a tough case, but I don’t think you should stop trying. Maybe she needs to know that someone cares and you could be the person to make a difference in her life.

Posted November 21, 2008

R E S P O N S E :

As Professionals, We Make
a Valid Attempt to Teach.

Katy Moore writes: I am so thankful for your honest question, and recognize that this is something we will all have to deal with at some point. I am glad you took disciplinary action regarding the journal, but I think we need to get real with the idea that we are going to LIKE all our students, and that they are going to LIKE us.

The point is that we must make a valid attempt to TEACH each student. One of the most important things I am learning in the MAT program is that teachers are professionals. The best way to deal with this student would be to deal with her professionally and deal with her on an academic level. If students don’t like teachers, they must learn to deal with them and complete the work if they want to succeed.

Perhaps one way to succeed with this student would be to not engage in a personality battle, but to encourage her studies, offer fair grades and fair, academic responses to her writing. If she opens up about the lack of a personal connection, you might be able to engage in a positive conversation about your role as her teacher, to ensure she learns and is prepared for a world beyond her classroom.

Let her know that you are available for any help she may need, and that you are ready and willing to assist her in any way, just like with any other student.

I hope this helps. I know this is difficult. You are very brave for sharing this so openly and honestly.

Posted November 28, 2008

R E S P O N S E :

Redirect the Negative Energy
into Something Positive

Katherine Collier writes: I am jumping on the bandwagon with this one! I am so glad you wrote this. I agree with what everyone else has said. We do need to teach this student and all the others who are trying to find their way. However, even if we don't like a student, it is important that we act as if we do. The more we practice this art, the better off we will be.

I know you're probably thinking I am crazy, but hear me out. If this girl is disliked by so many people and she is making a list of reasons to dislike someone else, this is a rehearsed behavior. Why not make it your aim to be the person she writes a positive list about? Praise her on that fantastic prewriting skill, but address the fact that when dealing with other people, it is necessary to practice restraint. Let her know that you were happy that she wanted to present her work in front of the class. Ask her on another occasion (probably with a specific writing prompt about favorites or someting positive) to share her work aloud. There is energy and determiniation in this student, but if no one redirects it, she will learn to harbor those bad feelings forever.

Posted December 8, 2008

E-mail your suggestions and comments to fbowles@uark.edu