Chaos in
Fuddy-Duddy.

A Sudden Regime Change
Rattles the Petrol Whores.

The Eighth Letter

By Jack G. Vines
DATELINE:
Tuesday, June 10, 2003.
Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates

I think that I have talked with you about "shifting sands," or the idea that nothing is transparent here. Ideas change overnight. Contracts mean nothing. Here today gone tomorrow. The sand dune has shifted once again, but this time it jumped!

Saddam was removed from Iraq with a plan the Americans called Shock and Awe — an appropriate metaphor for a tactic used by most employers in the UAE to direct their little political dances with the legions of minions at their service. I've seen the dance all too often.

I work for the educational unit of the UAE Armed Forces. A firm based in Washington, D.C., used to act as liaison between me and the military, providing a much-needed buffer group of four supervisors. Last week, the four were notified that their contract would be terminated in less than ten days. Translation: in nine days you'll get your walking papers... and don't let the door hit you in the ass.

Fuddy-Duddy English Teachers.

There is no looting on the streets (or in the hallways), but I am in a mini-war zone. Alliances are being formed, friendships being destroyed, loyalties shifting... Hell, this is not the Bathe Party of Iraq — we are "fuddy-duddy English teachers" (to quote one of my former college professors).

As a result, my office is in chaos. The first few days after the contract's termination, the teachers were elated, much like the Iraqis on the streets of Baghdad when Saddam was toppled. A few days later a sobering thought intruded upon the euphoria: What would happen next. Who would come to power? What changes would be applied to the practice of our craft?

Becoming a Petrol Whore.

Suddenly, we remembered just how much we liked the Washington-based group of four. Weren't they the ones who prevented us from becoming entangled in the military's endless reel of red tape? Personally, the decision to remove American buffers from my office puts a bit of fear into my perception of the situation, especially since I have just signed another two-year contract that won't expire until 2005. The process of securing the contract stretched over seven months. You must be wondering why I am here. The answer? Petroleum dollars. They pay us well. Very well. We are known in the local vernacular as petroleum whores.

Will the future be better? My office group, a ragged collection of about eighty Western teachers and more than 80 administrators (yeah, we are top heavy over here), now waits for the carrot to appear on the horizon above the shifting sands. We hope there will be a meeting soon, clarifying things. My experience tells me that even if we do meet, nothing will be clarified. Informative meetings over here generate more questions than answers.

Mash'allah. God is Great.

I Hear Miami Calling.

On a brighter note, I am heading stateside in a month or so. I calculate thirty days until departure. God, I need to get out of this place for a while. I plan on heading home to the hinterlands for a few weeks, and then I will go to Miami for a while. Miami like a Siren is calling me to her breast. I've a friend there begging me to come to work for him. You never know. I just may take him up on the offer. Sorry to harp so much about the job experience, but it's my two cents worth — and it's the reality of my life here during the past month. Give me a while to see the outcome of our Shock and Awe regime-change experience here in the realm of fuddy-duddy.

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Mr. Vines is an instructor for the United Arab Emirates Armed Forces. He has worked in Abu Dhabi since July 2001. Not yet thirty, he has also taught in Japan. We would tell you more about him, but it just wouldn't be prudent.

You can communicate with Mr. Vines by E-mail
through the webmaster at threadspinner@corndancer.com

*This is the logical next step
toward the NEW World Order.

Step Twenty-Six: *Your common nouns on the camel's hump.

Chaos in Fuddy-Duddy.

A Sudden Regime Change Rattles the Petrol Whores.